New Year’s Resolutions for Republicans

New Year’s Resolutions for Republicans:

1. Every time I waggle my finger in shame at the poor who live off of government handouts, I will claim one fewer tax deduction for the 2010 tax year. 

2. Every time I use the word “socialism,” I must donate $25.00 to a public school I attended.

3. Every time I shake my fist at health-care reform, I must volunteer six months of my financial planning skills to one uninsured family waiting in the emergency room.

4. Every time I rage against two gay people who love each other enough to get married, I must reunite two straight people who hate each other enough to get divorced.

5. Every time I ridicule environmental regulations, I must leave my suburb – just once, for like a whole hour, to see what a downtown looks like in the daytime.

What resolutions would you add for Republicans? What would you add for Democrats? Comment below!

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